Why Dating As Millennials Is So Screwed Up?
|By- Ajay Tomar|
Dating in back times was pure, real, and far less complex. But these days, things are totally opposite and endlessly more complicated and frustrating. Hunger of lust is more than love in today's world.
Insecurity, disloyalty, over possessiveness, and issues of controlling each other's life. You can find one of these or things like that in every relationship easily. Whether fake attitude, unusual desires or senseless ego and greed. We have the perfect recipe for unhappiness right here. And Dating as millennial is seriously screwed up. Here I am going to point out some reasons that are the example of "why dating as millennials is seriously screwed up".
1.We ghost as a way to end things-
Communication is that key which can unlock many misunderstandings and solving problems in a minute. But this generation underestimate the value of this key. If we're not interested in someone anymore, instead of talking and telling them the actual issue- we stop responding and starts behave rude so things will end automatically, because the find running from situation easy. We start ghosting. Imagine if someone did this in real life to us. What will we do? We'll easily label him/her as complete psychotic. Because, as it's over internet or messages we calm ourselves by thinking that its COOL. But the Reality check is: Not at all COOL. Even in the old school romance days the "Dear love " note was left on the dinning table or on any chair but now, we're so blessed that we have a technology by which we can type the things that our ego stops us to speak. A simple "I'm sorry, it's my fault" These few words can save lots of things. It can make the things better, because we must accept that we all are different in own ways. And we all should understand this to improve our lifestyle. We should Stop ghosting and start communicating and most importantly and try to understand each other first before taking any decision.
2. Highly focused on sexual satisfaction-
Sex is something which is now a days available easily more than food — we can have it simply with the shape of a finger. Lust is easy to fulfil by some applications. (Should I need to mention? We all know it very well. I guess most of us still swiping on it.) For sex we can entirely fake the whole relationship and most of the time sex doesn't lead to relationships- it leads to heartache, confusion. At this moment we go for another session with next stranger, to fulfil the lust and for getting the answer. The efforts should be on to explore the soul and heart of a person more than outer body parts. Every session like this disturbs the soul. Badly. Very badly! We don't know how to deal with it. We start confusing the outer intimacy with inner one and love and relationships with sex. And in all of this chaos finding the calm we go to next person. And here it becomes problematic. For healthy relationship all we need to do is to start thinking from our heart and mind instead of penises and vaginas.
3. Competition of who can care the least-
"For being cool, you have to be rude. That's how you can survive the world without getting hurt. That's the statement our generation follows." We think showing emotions and feelings made us inferior. If you show Your emotions then you will be considered as k week and immature kid. If you show enthusiasm with someone, it means you are interested, it leaves the person with a thought that you're affectionate towards them and running in the opposite direction instead of being happy and overwhelmed they start in making fun of yours. We are the generation who shows fewer emotions to look and act cool. Irony is on other hand every night cries on their pillows for hours with the hurting thoughts of -why anyone don't understand me or my emotions? Why everyone is so spineless Now a days? You know all we need to understand is there's little gratitude for honest and happy emotions. Loving and showing Real you are the way to make your heart and Soul Happy. And keeping that thing in you is REALLY COOL AND ATTRACTIVE!
4. Too reserved and strategic about response-
There's a big taboo in today's world. If you're responding quickly then you're the desperate and too available. Late response and rudeness are highly appreciable in this generation. Doing this makes you elite member of this generation. Well, this generation has facilities. Have instant access in everything. But rather than appreciating it in a good way they're using instant communication tools just like carrier pigeon of old times. They just want to show that how busy we are. How important we're. They just want to see their importance by these things in life. The mindset is too much messed up just like the lifestyles. They have forgotten the actual meaning of things, because Instant replies and response is something that connect the two people. Instant connection lasts longer than unusual attitude. You can make your place in their lives by your actions not by these responses.
5. Expecting and wanting perfection in everything-
In this journey of life, we are more focused on perfection more than living the life as it is. All the materialistic social media things, and some Bollywood romantic movies are one of the biggest reasons that leads us to believe in a dating life which doesn't even exist in real life. All we have seen there is just perfection in everything. But this is not the reality.
Because, Imperfection and perfection both goes hand on-hand. We all got perfection and imperfection both in us. No one can be perfected. Perfection is important but at the same time imperfection holds the same importance in Human life. In the search of perfection, we lose the gold. We fail to value the person and at the end we blame the luck and other things. Because, for millennials it's easy to blame and Nothing is ever good enough. We fail to understand that relationships are balanced bond, and that is with the amazing things come imperfections as well.
6. We have overloaded ourselves with option-
Just like career options we have messed our love life with so many options. We're looking for more options in everything. Before ending the relationship with someone instead of correcting it or sorting the things we start looking for our next. And the moment we get it, we left the current one without giving genuine reason. As We don't believe to settle on anything specific. And in our minds, we keep the second option. We're always looking forward something much better. Whether it's better family life, better partner, better house, better friend or better option to earn more money. We never give up on search. After getting the best we still find for more. Doesn't matter how much we love or devoted towards the things or person. This " NEVER-ENDING WANTS" journey Always leads us to miserable life. Because we never got satisfaction. And for our generation everything is for fun whether its love or life. We don't feel the value first and get hurt at the end. We don't understand until life start taking it turns.
7. We don't feel the pain for-
"We have hurt someone. And we know it, but if they are getting hurt it is their problem not ours. Their emotions are their responsibility, why should I be sorry? " Well, that's kind of attitude our generation carries. If we even we did something with them then it’s not my responsibility to resolve. We run just like looser. We don't to want face it, because we are lacking one quality here. The quality of ACCEPTANCE.
We have forgotten our responsibilities as a human. The term Acceptance is missing from our lives. We think if we say sorry for our mistake, we'll look inferior. And this inferiority complex is a big issue that every youth is facing right now in their lives. But in reality, they have mistaken the word acceptance with inferior. Because, it's our actions and choices which are the real reason. After all, Acceptance and moving on is not the definition of being inferior. It's the example of being Brave. Accepting is the only way that can move you forward positively in life. It's that term which will help you grow as a human day by day. Accept it. Learn from it. And move ahead. That's what life is!
8. We're the responsible for our lifestyle-
The habits and lifestyle are the reason millennials are the most unhappy generation. We don't want to listen. We don't want to understand. IN a hurry of everything and think we are always righting. We have lost qualities like Humanity and Honesty from inside us, and they're now shattered by the hypocrisy, double standards and selfishness etc. We value Person more when he dies.
Somehow the quote "Dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude" by Annie Frank is the still relevant now. We have lost the understanding of right and wrong because our ego and pride has shuttered our inner self. We're more focused in pleasure than love. We have lost control on our desires. The control on mind we have lost. We're becoming shallow from inside. We're alive from outside but dead from inside. We don't value our culture, and tradition anymore. We don't want to even know what our culture is. We have messed up everything with unwise fake and manipulative news and information. Time duration is more on the internet rather than books. We don't have timed or money for books. We spent that time and money on dates and alcohol.
This generation spent time in cafés more than library and art museum. Art and books are the most important part of life. It can change the lives in Most unexpected way. Well, all I can say it's really hard for the most advanced generation "The millennials" when it comes to dating. But Yes, just like every problem has solution. It has solution too. Only thing we have to do is understand the problems and implement the changes in our lives.
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